shenanigans

the thing is everybody touches me too soft. then i turn into a cockroach. this is my alter ego so i can say whatever i want like my bodily volcano is imploding. like my favorite movie is innerspace and my favorite book is the purple pussycat. tell me when you are going to shut up that awful racket/ whiplash backsplat. you can wash your hair with beer and you can rub coffee grounds on your skin like a stripper. to reduce the appearance of cellulite. i would like to write a book like that. how to love yourself naked.